Checking out a new church can be scary. What if no one talks to us? What if too many people talk to us? What if we don’t fit in? What if they don’t understand where we’re coming from? At Life Church, we get it. Our people have experienced and expressed those fears and others like them. One of our aims at Life Church is to create a place where all are welcome and invited to participate in ways that are comfortable to them. We know we can’t alleviate all fears about attending a new church or coming back to church after a time away, but we hope to make that first step less scary.
We asked our co-pastors Greg Carey and Mindy Wolfe to talk a little bit about why church and faith can be scary and what Life Church does to make the journey less scary.
What have been some reasons you've found or heard that people don't want to come to church?
Pastor Mindy: I have found that people are hesitant to come to church because they don't want to be judged. They are nervous about a bait and switch tactic. They are also not interested in someone telling them what to think or that they are bad for thinking something else.
Pastor Greg: Many people say they believe in God but have no interest in organized religion. Research shows that a lot of people no longer believe the Christian message. But there are many others who say the church is too mean or hypocritical. They have in mind the behavior of individual Christians, but they're more likely to say they dislike how politicized or judgmental churches have become.
One other big reason people leave churches is that they think the church has become too institutionalized, too focused on its own survival. They say it always asks for more of them, whether money or volunteer work. And they hate committees.
Why can church/faith be scary for some people?
Pastor Greg: Remember how it felt to walk into the middle school cafeteria for the first time? Church feels like that for a lot of people. They have little idea what to expect. They're concerned they won't like the worship service, but I think they're even more wary that they'll make a bad first impression or that no one will meet them.
Life Church is one of those communities that gathers in the auditorium only when the music starts. I've seen multiple people walk into the auditorium while it's still empty and get a fearful look on their faces. I always walk over to say hello and explain what to expect.
I want to add one thing. LGBTQ+ people generally assume that a church is unwelcoming—unless the church explicitly declares that it affirms them. Even then, they may have questions. That's why Life Church offers reminders constantly.
Pastor Mindy: Some people have experienced a high level of control and manipulation in the church. It took a lot of courage and strength to step out of those abusive and manipulative environments and they are very hesitant to step back into church for fear that it may end up being that way again.
People are often scared about church because they don't know what's happening "behind the curtain". People are tired of being lied to and manipulated.
How does Life Church work to make the journey less scary?
Pastor Mindy: Life Church strives to be transparent about why we do things and what our processes are. We try to state our values regularly and we welcome continual feedback and interaction. We want people to feel ownership and to know their voices and experiences not only matter but are part of what makes us who we are. We aren't trying to tell you who to be but rather we are discovering together who we are as a church community.
Pastor Greg: Every Sunday Life Church has greeters and other volunteers who extend a welcome and a word of orientation. I've heard several new attendees who singled out our Kid City greeting station for being so warm and so well organized. We also set out coffee, hot water and tea, and cold water to set the tone. And our announcements clearly tell people they're welcome no matter how they relate to God or to the church.
What about all those times in the Bible it says, "do not fear"? Are we doing something wrong if we're afraid?
Pastor Greg: I hope "Do not fear" is encouragement rather than a command. Fear is a natural response that's rooted in very ancient history. Human beings survived up until now because we have strong fear responses to danger.
"Do not fear" reminds us that it's often necessary to press on despite our fear. The fear rarely goes away entirely, but we can move forward even when we're scared. That's how we find new spaces that are safe and full of joy.
Pastor Mindy: I see the repetition of "do not fear" as an acknowledgement that humans tend to struggle with fear or have a lot of things to be afraid of. It's a compassionate urge to trust rather than a shaming statement of judgement. Our humanity is not something to be ashamed of but rather something to be accepted and a place to ask God to enter into with us.
What do you hope people find when they walk through the doors of Life Church?
Pastor Mindy: A welcoming group of people who are learning to love themselves, each other and God well. And I hope they find some fun and comfort along the way.
Pastor Greg: When people show up at Life Church, I hope they get a warm greeting right at the front door—and then I hope they are greeted by several other people as they enter the space. I hope they notice all the activity, including children who clearly feel safe and loved. I hope someone tells them what to expect, makes sure their kids are hooked up, introduces them around a bit, and offers to walk them in for worship.
Written by Lisa Bartelt